Heavy Heart

There are days when the world just hits you and your heart just sinks. The song isn't finished and neither is my heart. God seems to soften it more each day.


There is a stone in my chest that weighs me down.
Every time I get some air, I am drug down to drown.
Ya there's a stone and it has got your name
that you engraved on my heart, but I still am to blame.

If I could only cast it from me, but
I cradle it in my sleep, and take it where I go.
I paint it and dress it up to give it appeal, but I
can never find myself believing it is real.

As you erode, so does my sentimentality



Post writing note: I notice a lot of my writings are about pain and struggle. Even though some end in resolve, I was inspired in a moment of weakness, hurt, and evaluation. Evaluation? That's right. We hardly stop to look around when things are going right, it is only in that moment of humanity that we try to find how we got here. In that moment of embracing the troubles of life, for some reason solace is found. I suppose it is much easier to give God our broken hopes and dreams, than to give him the ones that are working and that is why. Why I put it on paper. Hurt is intangible to the world around us, but when I write it out, I can see it and give it to God. I am reminded of a story of a child who broke a toy and when presented to his father, the father could not fix it. The boy never let go. It ends in saying, "Let Go and let God."

The Prodigal Heart

Wow everyone, I was really hoping to post more than this (at least until I ran out of good songs); but getting readjusted to American life has taken quite a bit of time (and maybe I've been a little lazy (wink)). BUT tonight we will have the first song I wrote in my new lyrics journal! Despite the nature of the lyrics, it is not about girls. It is really about a misplaced identity and how easy it is to get caught in the temptress of this world. An additional note, that I did not structure this writing to depict rhythm; but rather to emphasize certain parts. Hopefully you can pick up on the rythm as you read it. As always I hope you enjoy.

You are more than Her.Oh Son,
why have you fallen into lies crafted to ensnare?
There is more to life than finding
the maiden who is so so fair.

What a cruel game she plays,
as your hand close on the dice.
Tumbling dice, bring grimace to her eyes.
which number, she couldn't care.

Well,

She's playing with your eyes
and feeding you lies.
She plays with you, and
twirls you up like fingers to her hair
She says she's hurt,
                        dying,
                  her heart's confused.
She's just a double without a care.

So open your eyes,
open your ears to his
sweet declare.
You're a Son
a Priest
a Holy one.
To you, my treasures, I heir.

So listen again and
open your ears to
hear my soft voice declare.
For you, She was not the one
for on the cross, your pain I won.
In death I made life so,so unfair.

The House in the Arctic Desert

This post will have some lyrics I wrote over Christmas. It was one of those moments where I was at work and just had to write something. I spent a total of 10 minutes on the whole thing.   It felt like inspiration came out of nowhere, but in retrospect; in my moment of self-pity God revealed his love to me. If you are tired, fed up, or drained; this is for you.


     I've been walking in a cloud of my own tears.
     The cold permeates my soul and 
     the pain makes me null
and void of your love in whole


But He says


     " Step into the warmth of my house
     and come near to the fire of my soul,
     Because I kindle at the thought of you.
     I'll pick up the shards of ice,
     and melt your heart
                                    to make you whole."


      I've been walking in the drought of my fears.
      My strength is sapped from the sun.
      In a moment I'll be done.
I'm through with my past, I've had my fun.


But He says


      "Step into the cool of my house.
     I will quench the thirst of your soul.
     Rushing rivers, run at the thought of you. 
     I'll pick up the shards of clay
     so you can remold 
     and hold the flower of my glory.


     For I will guide you on my path
     and teach you all my ways.
     For steadfast love will surround this boy
     and my upright heart will shout for joy.


     For as the sun rises for the horizon,
     my son will rise for you. 
    When he ascends to the house;
     my spirit, the moon, who reflects his light,
     will prove a guide in the night with all that you do."


For Reference- see Psalm 32

Thanks for reading.
I love you all.
God loves you.
Receive his joy for you right now.
PEACE!
Carson

Why am I starting this?

So like every rockstar wannabe/ poet/"I LIKE WRITING" person out there, I decided to start a blog. Here are a few reasons that I wanted to start this and also notes to consider while reading this blog.
-I just want to expose my writings and allow people to enjoy them without shoving it in people's faces. 
-I do not have much more than a basic literary education, so I am no expert in poetry. I simply like to strategically place words that sound good together. 
-I am always open to critiques, because I do not want my writings to be immortalized on this blog. One day they will have music and meaning. 
-I do not write often. I would like to expand my creativity to more than just "once in a while." That being said, if I do fall of the face of the Earth and don't blog for a while, rest assured, I will write something else and get really excited to show it to others (only to check a week later to find 2.3 views). 
-Most of what I write will be lyrics/poetry, but once in a while I muse (so look forward to that)
- My musings are usually out of anger or frustration (so you can read it in my yelling voice).
- Ask me questions about my writing.
- If you read and critique mine, I will probably do the same for you. 
-Have fun!


The next few post will probably be things I have already written, most within the past 6 months. Sometimes you get a feel for my emotions at the time, but that doesn't mean I feel that way the moment it is posted. It is mostly past emotions I have resolved. I will usually include a context in a brief description at the beginning, if I deem it necessary
I love you all. 
God loves you. 
Receive his love for you today.


Carson